Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) today announced that he will fast-track emergency legislation funding mandatory “Bleach-Waterboarding-for-All,” as jointly invented by President Donald Trump and former Vice President Dick Cheney.   McConnell touted the program as…

The Ohio GOP may soon push "breakthrough" legislation requiring the official execution of Medicare recipients, according to a fictional source within the party.  Secret computer-based lotteries will decide who will be eliminated from the state's Medicare rolls, he said in confidence, but…

Hello All Californians. Sadly, I was never able to your beautiful state in my Earthly lifetime, to my great regret. But you may recall I wrote the book---"Common Sense---that sparked the Revolution that made you free. And I authored the "Age of Reason," which had some things to say about the…

California’s state finances have gone to pot, and that’s what it should use to pay its employees. Right now the state is issuing I.O.U.’s to those who work for it. Sacramento says they are worth the paper they’re printed on, but most Californians know that’s true only if they are used to roll…